Mental-Pausal Moments

What an interesting book I'm reading! I've just discovered the cause for some of the strange things I've been experiencing lately. According to this book, hot flashes are related to being mental-pausal. That explains everything!

Tonight while I was fixing supper, I suffered a moment of mental-pause. I looked high and low throughout the kitchen, including every drawer, the refrigerator and freezer, the dishwasher, and the waste basket. Then I went throughout the house, checking every room that I might have gone into during the time period that I was working on supper.

I had hoped to keep this problem to myself, but finally, in total exasperation, I bemoaned the truth to Larry: "Honey--I lost the pot holders!" He had already surmised, by my strange behavior, that something was very wrong, but he was kind enough not to ask. (He has seen this happen before.) When he heard the defeat in my voice, admitting yet another one of my mental-pausal moments, he quickly got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. I was thankful for his willingness to help me out, but when he headed straight for the kitchen drawer where they are usually kept, I thought, "How silly to look there--I've already looked there several times!" However, I was careful to hold my tongue rather than belittle him for trying to help. He pulled out the green pot holders and said, "Is this what you're looking for?" ! ! !
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One day last week I went to the bank. As I headed back to my car, after finishing my business inside the bank, I reached into my purse to pull out my car keys. They weren't there! I slowed my walk as I continued digging deeper, checking every little pocket of my purse. Nope--not there. I checked my pants pockets (several times), and again checked my purse pockets (several times). Nope--still not there!

Fortunately, I had my spare set of keys with me, so I was able to get in the car. I sat there thinking, Should I go back into the bank, carefully retracing my steps, hoping to find them somewhere? Should I go ask the teller if a set of car keys has been found? But, then I thought, Well, maybe I actually left them at home, and used my spare set of keys to drive the car. (Although, I NEVER do that.) But, since strange things have been happening to me more and more frequently, I figured it could always be a possibility.

So, rather than embarrassing myself by going back into the bank, I decided to drive back home and see if I left them at home. I went into the house and looked around everywhere I thought they might possibly be, but they weren't there.

So, I drove back to the bank and went inside, carefully retracing my steps to look everywhere I had been, plus asking the teller. Nope--no car keys. On the way out, I stopped one more time at the counter where I had stood to write out my withdrawal slip, thinking, They must be here somewhere.

That's when I spotted the trash disposal slot built into the counter, and thought, Yup, that must be it -- how embarrassing to realize I must have stuck my keys into the trash disposal slot when I actually intended to put them back into my purse! I poked my fingers into the slot and tried to figured out how to see into the little trash receptacle. Then the manager noticed my strange activity and came over to see if I needed some help. After I briefly explained my predicament, he took the trash receptacle apart and looked through the contents. Nope -- no keys!

By then, everyone in the bank was looking in my direction. I shook my head and said out loud (to no one in particular), "All I know is that I came into the bank with keys in my hand, and when I walked out the door, I didn't have them." But, no one had any solution to the mystery, so I finally got back in my car and drove back home again (using my spare set of keys again).

When I got home, and went into the bedroom to set my purse down in its usual spot, I noticed the bag sitting near where my purse is usually sitting. I had placed that bag there to remind me to take it with me when I went to the bank, because I also needed to go to a store to return something. Not only had I forgotten to pick up the bag when I picked up my purse to leave the house -- that's where I found my car keys (in that bag)! Go figure!

Now, it also occurs to me that it was exactly one week ago today that I was writing out my experience of finding myself stuck outside on the deck--fully believing I had locked myself out of the house-- when actually, I had simply forgotten which door I used to go outside! Goof-ball!
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Oh, I also learned in this book tonight that hot flashes are actually power surges which may or may not be helpful during mental-pausal moments.

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Warning: I refuse to accept any responsibilty for unplanned, unpredictable, unexplainable, totally bizaare behavior which may occur during mental-pausal moments.
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