True Confessions of a Quiltmaker

1. I want to do this, but I don't have time right now.
Really! I've given lots of serious thought to this project, and I'm eager to get at it, but there's always something else that demands my time and attention first. Oh, if only I could just live my life for myself, and do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it! If only I could just ignore the rest of the world! Maybe I'll get at it tomorrow.

2. I've thought about it long enough -- it's time to get at it!

In total honesty -- I've stalled long enough! Sometimes other things get in my way, but I also seem to be procrastinating the start of something that seems enormous to me -- no matter how much I think I want to do it!

• How long will it take me to do it?
• What if I get tired of it before it's done?
• What about all the frustration of interruptions?
• What if I allow myself to get so totally sucked into my project that I ignore everything and everyone else?
• What if it turns into a much bigger or much harder project than I originally anticipated?
• What if I fail somewhere in the middle of the project and never get it finished?
• What if . . . (the "what-ifs" go on and on) . . .

3. Finally -- no more delay! Today's the day!
Yesterday I had good intentions, and I got off to a good start, but, once again, I let other distractions get in the way of making much progress. When will this familiar cycle of "start and stop" change? It's this way in all of my life, it seems! Feast or famine -- too much or too little -- one step forward, two steps back -- rethink, regroup, come up with a new plan -- gain new determination only to lose it again! C'mon, Jeannie -- you can do this! Focus! Don't get side-tracked by the enormity of the project before you. Don't lose sight of your goal!

4. The project is now well-underway -- there's no stopping me now!

It's been going very well! I'm making such great progress--much better than I expected! I guess I finally have this project thing mastered now! Just look how good it all looks! I do really good work! In fact, I can actually consider myself an artist -- yup, this is my "claim to fame" in the world of "fine arts"! How wonderfully satisfying to be able to create a work of art--especially when the whole purpose is to give it away!

5. Wham! (flat on my face) I've hit the wall !!

• I don't want to do this anymore!
• I'm tired of the whole thing!
• How much longer is this gonna take?
• When will I ever get it finished and be able to put everything away?
• I really need a break from the tedium of it all!
• This part is just too hard, and I just can't figure out how to make it work!
• I really don't know what to do next!
• I can't even think straight anymore!
• My fingers hurt . . . my back is tired . . . I have a headache . . .

Everything in me screamed: "I just can't do this anymore . . . I can't face another day of it!" During those times, I cried out, "Lord, what am I gonna do? I can't keep going any longer...", and that's when I heard, "Keep on keeping on, Jeannie! There is no choice here--you must finish what you started. (Remember who it's for and what the purpose is.)"
Isn't it that way in life? Life is so daily (and sometimes so hard), yet
you must keep on keeping on -- whether you feel like it or not!

When I feel like I just can't go on, I cry, "Help, Lord! I can't keep going without Your help -- there's just no other way I can get through this! Thanks, Lord!"

"In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From His temple He heard my voice;
my cry came before Him, into His ears."
(Psalm 18:6 - a song of David)

D O N E !

Finished at 3:15 P.M. today.

Top side ................................. Backing
(No, the blue dust ruffle doesn't go with it!)

Can you guess who it's for?

Dis be da place!

This is where my morning "quiet time" happens. Even my cat gets into it! She follows me around, complaining, until I get settled into my blue chair. Then she climbs up on the couch across from me and stays there until I'm finished. She usually watches the birds for awhile and then stretches out contentedly for a nap until our "quiet time" is over.

Further thoughts (quilting provides lots of time for thinking):

Devoting the first part of my day to God is not a way of earning "brownie points" with God. It is not a way of staying in His good graces or earning my way to Heaven. No, in fact, it is not humanly possible to earn one's way to Heaven, or to become more righteous in God's sight. (That is found only in Jesus Christ, by His death on the cross, in my place.) My daily "quiet time" is for my benefit -- for my spiritual growth, and for the uncovering of spiritual treasure I find in God's Word -- all for my benefit!

Sharing this with my readers is not intended to make anyone feel guilty or less spiritual for not having a daily "quiet time" -- time spent sitting quietly with the Lord, reading the Bible and focusing on Him alone. It is only to let others know that this where I find my strength and my joy.

It was not always this way in my life. I used to think of "daily devotions" as something that good Christians must do! I would do it for awhile and then quit, try it again for awhile and then quit again. This was always the pattern in my life until several years ago when I finally realized the personal necessity of a daily meeting with the Lord.

I was struggling with a particular weakness in my life, and simply could not get mastery over this problem, even after "giving it to God" over and over. I finally found God's help when I began meeting with Him "face-to-face" every morning, rather than just talking to Him or thinking about Him now and then, throughout the day. I discovered something different and powerful about meeting with Him in this "sit-down and be still with Him" type of way. This regular, focused time with the Lord began producing something in me (in my relationship with God) that I had never experienced before. I truly began "falling in love with Jesus"--not just as my Lord, but also as my very best Friend! And, as I grew stronger spiritually, mastery over the old struggles began to be experienced as well. I've come to realize that I need this daily "quiet time" with the Lord for my spiritual nourishment as much as I need daily food for my physical nourishment. That is why I do it.

Quiltin' or Bloggin'

Who has time to blog when you have a quilt to make? Every day I think, "I'm almost done...just one more day oughta do it!" But, then, everyday I find that I'm still more than one day away from being done!

This morning as I was fixing my breakfast I saw a gorgeous, huge rainbow out my west-facing windows -- incredible! I've lived in this house for one year, two and a half months, and this was the first time I've seen a rainbow out to the west. It was beautiful! (no picture--sorry) What a great way to start my day!

Then, with coffee, toast, and banana in hand, I went to my blue chair in the living room and sat down to have my daily "quiet time". (Yes, Rebecca, this is my daily routine.) As I sat down, I thought about this daily routine, and why I do it.

It's so much more than a legalistic, Christian duty! I do this because it is my privilege and my desire! It is my own special time spent totally focused on Jesus--the One who is my most-important, most-favored, most-treasured FRIEND! He is the One I live my life for! He is the One I totally depend on for my daily strength and joy! Without this time spent with Him (totally focused on Him), I suffer and weaken in my faith!

If this was some legalistic requirement of the Christian life, I would shun it (and did for years)! But, it's so necessary for me--for my constantly growing and changing relationship with Jesus. It's when I eagerly grab the opportunity to spend quality time with my very best friend! (Who wouldn't jump at the chance to do that?) This is when I read His "letter" to me. There's a lot He wants me to know, so He arranged for someone to write it out for me. (How else will I know what He wants me to know if I don't read it?) It's like eagerly coming to the computer to read emails from good friends, and finding sweet companionship even through the written word.

Yes, I will continue to do this -- not simply as a Christian tradition or requirement in the Christian life, but as a chosen way to spend my time -- first thing in my day, before there are other distractions and demands on my time that keep me from my most favorite thing to do! I learned several years ago that this is only gain for me -- I need it and I enjoy it very much! It's the sweetest part of my day!

Now, back to quiltin'!

Chilly Day - Warm Home

I'm thinkin' it's time to go back to Hawaii, or at least have that beach party I described a while back.

Today we've had what the weather man called an "arctic blast". The temperature never got above freezing (actually stayed well below freezing) all day long! The bird bath never thawed out, for Pete's sake! I stayed tucked inside all day long, except for first thing this morning when I went out to refill bird feeders.
I sat down in my favorite chair to have my morning "quiet time" and noticed the poor birds scratching in the dirt to find something to eat because their two favorite feeders were empty! So, I quickly donned warm clothing and braved the early morning frigid air to go take care of my birds! (They immediately let me know how much they appreciated my kindness.) Then I spent the rest of my day quilting. Perhaps I'll show you a picture of it one of these days.

We are now settling into the rest of the evening -- the start of a long holiday weekend. Our son is gone to San Diego to visit his girlfriend, so we find ourselves all alone in a quiet house . . . hmmmmm . . .
The pizza will be delivered soon and Larry should be back from the video store any minute. Oh, I think I heard the garage door just go up!
Gotta go now...time for fun...bye!

Learning to Lean

We all go through various stages of life -- some stages more difficult than others. Being okay with moving on into the next stage is mentally and emotionally healthy. Today I'm realizing how freeing it is to let go of the past, and leave the future in God's hands.

It doesn't seem to me that I've put down any real roots here in Oregon. It feels more like I'm just here for a temporary, unknown period of time. Then what? I have no idea what's next, but I'm learning to lean on God for today -- for contentment in where I am today.

I'm learning contentment by learning to lean into the opportunities that God sends my way, instead of fretting about the why or why not of opportunities that don't come my way. It's finally starting to sink in that I'm in a transition period of my life, and that's okay. During last weekend I was a bit frustrated by it all, but on Monday God gave me peace about it. At least for now, my heart seems to be at rest.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

The Happiest Place on Earth

Disneyland claims to be "The Happiest Place on Earth"! But, I'd have to disagree. For me, the happiest place on earth is wherever Larry and I are together!Happy Valentines Day to my Honey Buncher!

The Day Before Tomorrow

As I drove to Roberta's house this morning I was thinking about today being the day before Valentines Day, but the thought that stuck in my head was, "the day before...". It's a very short drive (takes all of about two minutes), so I didn't have long to process that thought, but I knew it would need to be written out later. This is the "later" moment.

The day before what? Today is always the day before something, but how often do we contemplate that? Oh, sure, I know the Bible says not to be anxious about tomorrow because sufficient unto today are the troubles thereof, and, therefore, we are not to "borrow troubles" from tomorrow. Okay, okay...I get that, but what about wise thought -- not worrying about it, but simply giving careful consideration to tomorrow?
(I would be interested in hearing your viewpoint on this.)

In my time with Roberta this morning, I sensed that God was telling me: "It's time to turn your attention away from the past (however God has used me in His service), and look forward to whatever's next" (in my service for Him). In other words: Today is not necessarily part of yesterday -- it is simply the day before tomorrow. Whatever He chooses for me to do (today or tomorrow) -- whatever is in His plan will be good. It doesn't have to be like "yesterday" to be good! I will follow His leading today, and again tomorrow. Tomorrow may have nothing to do with "yesterday". Today is simply the day before tomorrow. I can only prepare for tomorrow by being in step with God's plan for today!

Lord, all my tomorows belong to You -- as do my todays. All of my days have been "ordained" by You--long before any of them came to be. I know You have my todays and my tomorrows in Your hand. Help me to keep my eyes on You today, as I choose to trust You for my tomorrows. Do in me today whatever needs to be done in my life to prepare me for tomorrow, and use me in the way that You desire -- today and tomorrow!

Breakfast in Bed

My usual Sunday morning treat . . . Thanks, Honey! I love you, too!
Hint: Just hold your hand out like you're expecting a cup of coffee to be placed in it -- it works!

Of Dreams and Pets (and Husbands)

The night was a blur of wearying, senseless dreams, all blending into each other in mysterious ways, broken only by occasional hot flashes which produced instant wakefulness. One of those wake-ups was actually a most welcome interruption of a dream which threatened to undo the harmony of my marriage. Poor Larry! In reality he was innocent of any misconduct, but in my dreams he is frequently portrayed in a very negative light! Recently it has come to my attention that the "evil one" uses such avenues of attack to harm marriages and families, hoping to destroy all that God planned to be good for us. That thought came to me instantly as I awoke from the dream, so I got up from my bed and rebuked the devil, in Jesus' name! Then I was able to fall back asleep, thinking kind and loving thoughts toward my husband.

The day dawned bright and beautiful! As I lay in my bed enjoying the stillness of the early morning, the quietude was broken by the mewing of my cat. She obviously saw no good reason for us to stay in bed any longer, and was not about to be ignored! Feeling sorry for my little furry friend, I got up to feed her, careful not to disturb my husband who didn't appear ready to leave his warm, comfy bed just yet. As I tip-toed down the hall, heading for the kitchen, I looked back, expecting to see my cat following me, but no...she had stopped mid-way down the hall and was laying there on the floor half-way between me and her beloved "daddy" in the bedroom. Clearly, she had intended to rouse both of us, and wasn't satisfied to have the attention of only one of us!

Now my day is underway, and, once again, all is quiet on the home-front. My husband has gone off to the Saturday morning men's Bible study at church, and my son left for a motorcycle ride, unable to resist the promise of another beautiful, spring-like day. Pretzel is lying on top of the couch in the living room, keeping a watchful eye on the birds flitting and fluttering around the feeders hanging just beyond the confines of the window. Ahhhh, the peacefulness of a quiet morning when all is well! The sun is shining brightly and the temperature is quite mild. The sky is blue with lightly scattered clouds, and most of the high winds of yesterday have calmed down. A beautiful day stretches out before me, with the excitement of somewhat unknown plans for this evening.

Earlier in the week, a surprise was cooked up by my husband and my friend, Debbie's husband. It all began with an early morning wake-up call (6:45 A.M.) from Bennie to Larry. (Debbie knew nothing about it until I mentioned it to her on Tuesday.) So, now we've had several days to eagerly anticipate our husbands' fun little "surprise", and tonight's the night!

Husbands can be wonderful friends--no matter what they do in dreams, and no matter how they may mess up even in reality! I mess up sometimes too! Fortunately, I have a very patient, very loving husband, who always cuts me slack and continues to love me no matter what!

Feelin' Fridayish!

What does Friday feel like? It feels good! It feels like the work week is just about done and the weekend is just about to start! It feels like happiness is springing it's way to the surface and bursting out all over! What a great feeling! (Maybe it's J O Y !!!)

It's been a good week -- a very good week! Each of the first three days (Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday) included visits with friends -- three very dear friends! What a great way to start the week! Thursday and Friday have included all the necessary housework stuff -- the stuff that leaves you feeling great that you tackled your responsibilities and got the job done! What a great way to end the week! All but one day this week has been a sunny day! All five days were productive and fun! It just doesn't get much better than this, unless, of course, my grandchildren were also here, or I was in Hawaii!

Maybe it's the result of spending time with friends, or maybe I'm just getting ready for Valentines Day, or maybe it's just because it's Friday (T.G.I.F.) -- I don't know, but I'm feeling great and just decided to say so! Toodles!

On Top of Spaghetti

We just finished eating supper -- spaghetti. As we got up from the table, Larry began to sing -- the first line of a song we hadn't thought of or heard in years. I immediately added the second line, him the third, and so on, but after the first few lines neither of us could remember the rest of it. In the middle of cleaning up the kitchen it came to me.

Anyone remember the old song: "On Top of Old Smokey"?
Sing the following words to that tune.

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table and onto the floor,
and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden and under a bush,
and then my poor meatball was nothing but mush. (rhyme with bush)
So, if you like spaghetti all covered with cheese,
hang onto your meatballs, and don't ever sneeze!

Did you enjoy that? You're welcome! I always enjoy the opportunity to give you a little chuckle and put a smile on your face! Laughter is good for the soul, you know!

In Search of Spring

My friend, Debbie, came over today. It was a beautiful, spring-like day, so we went for a walk to soak up some much-needed sunshine and fill our lungs with fresh air! It was so nice to be out enjoying an early taste of springtime! We were walking and talking, deeply engrossed in conversation when I spotted it -- my very first glimpse of it -- YESSSS -- the real evidence of the approach of spring! CROCUS!! After Deb left, I grabbed my camera and walked back up the street to get a picture of the crocuses I had seen. As I continued walking, I discovered more and more signs of spring in my neighborhood, which I hadn't noticed before.

I've been diligently watching my front yard for the first spring blossoms to appear. (Last fall we planted over 150 spring flower bulbs--in the rain!) Although lots of green shoots have poked their heads up through the dirt, there's been no sign of flowers yet. So, upon returning home, I stopped to do a closer inspection of my yard, fully expecting to find at least one little crocus bloom, but no, not a one! As I stood there, contemplating my own barren front yard, I noticed that one of my bird feeders was absolutely swamped with little birds. I was instantly moved from disappointment into spell-bound wonder! Seldom do I see even one bird on that feeder (and had never seen more than one bird on it at a time), but at that moment it was completely covered, like bees swarming a beehive! Many of the birds flew as I changed positions to get a picture of it, but some of them paid no attention to me or the sound of my camera. Can you find the bird feeder? It's in a tree on the far right side of the above picture -- a little square wire cage that holds a block of suet. Here's a couple of close-up views (click to enlarge):

I wish you could have seen the feeder before the pictures were snapped--it was just unbelievable how the birds totally covered all view of the feeder itself. These little guys were hungry, and weren't about to be scared away from their food, even though there were three other feeders hanging just a short distance from that feeder!

Must be something in the air...I do believe, in my little neck o' the woods -- spring has sprung!

Oh, the things you'll see...

when you're a bird-watcher like me!
As I stood at my dining room window, watching the birds enjoy the food I had just put out for them, I noticed a Blue Jay taking a bath. Obviously the winter temperatures meant nothing to this fine-feathered little creature! He (she?) was sitting smack dab in the middle of the bird bath (just below the bird feeders hanging in the tree beside it), splishing and splashing to his (or her) heart's content, as if it hadn't had a bath for far too long! Then I noticed Murphy -- the neighbor's cat (black with white "boots") coming down his driveway, as though heading for our yard, and I thought, "Oh, no! He's going to come over and bother my birds!" But, no, at the end of his driveway, Murphy turned right and went up the road, disappearing from view.

Back to watching the Blue Jay, who continued to enjoy his bath, oblivious to the dangererous feline who came so close to disturbing his bath . . . . Suddenly, I saw a flash of something furry running by, down the little drive beside my house. Quickly moving to the next window, I saw a cute little dog -- running for its life! Moving back again to the other window, I saw the reason this cute little dog was running -- it was being chased by Murphy! Too funny! But, just as I started to turn my attention back to the Blue Jay in the bird bath, it flew away -- scared off by the young girl who was running down the drive, chasing after the dog, who was being chased by the cat (who was bigger than the dog)!! Absolutely hilarious!!!

Then, as soon as the Blue Jay flew away, another Jay (who had been sitting in the tree branches just above the bird bath, patiently awaiting it's turn for a bath) happily moved down into the bowl and began splashing contentedly, totally unruffled by all that had just happened to chase the other Blue Jay away! I stood there and laughed out loud! (Laughter is good for the soul, right?) Oh, the funny things you see when you stop to watch the birds!