Songs of Joy

Today is a blah day! My daughter and two little grandkids left today. They've been here since June 27th--filling our home with fun and noise for 10 days! Today is perhaps the first day that the laundry machines sit idle and the lights remain off in the main bathroom. The house is void of any appearance of company, except for the unmade beds in the guest rooms. The countless pairs of shoes that have been parked at the front door and in the laundry room have disappeared. Their favorite blankets, stuffed animals, and books are gone too. The house is quiet--too quiet--not just because they're off visiting friends in Vancouver today, but because they're gone--back home to Montana.

Oh, how I miss having them live close by! It's been almost a year since we all moved from Vancouver, Washington (us to Oregon and them to Montana), but time hasn't closed the gaping hole that was left by their absence. Huge tears roll down my cheeks, one by one, as I write this, and I know I was meant for family life-- surrounded by the sights and sounds of a noisy, fun-loving, happy family (I grew up in a family of 7)!

In my "quiet time" this morning I read in the book of Psalms about singing "songs of joy". My head tells me I need to do that, but my heart just doesn't feel like it! Psalm 137:4 says, "How can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land?" Sometimes I feel like I am living in a foreign land, and it feels like my kids have also moved to a foreign land. How can I sing songs of joy in a foreign land, when so many of my loved ones are also off in a foreign land, away from me?

Sometimes I also long for my real home--Heaven, and I long for my eternal family-- the family of God (all those who love Jesus). Especially on days like today, when it just seems like something or someone is missing...that's when I realize that this is not really my "home". My home is where my heart is, and today it isn't here.

Lord, today I need your help with songs of joy . . . please help me to remember that "the joy of the Lord is my strength." Thanks, Lord.

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EPILOGUE

Feeling much better after a nap! Wow! What a difference some sleep can make! Now I'm ready to start anew! After I ate lunch and read for awhile, I began feeling very sleepy, so I turned on my CD player (several favorite praise music CD's) and comfied down on the couch with my pillow and blanket. Listening to "songs of joy", I quickly fell asleep and slept there for three hours! Now I feel much refreshed and the smile has returned to my face and to my heart! Praise God!

I've been dealing with a little bit of sickness since Monday--starting with just a hint of a sore throat and a cough which has kept me awake most of the night for the last three nights. So I was already dragging myself out of bed each morning this week. By yesterday morning the "sleep-deprived" headache had set in, and this morning we were up extra early for Sherry's departure. So, I'm sure all of that added to the sadness of them leaving, and left me feeling very low today.

As soon as they pulled out (at 6:45), Larry and I went out to breakfast. I didn't have the heart to tell him how yucky I was feeling, and I was hoping it would just disappear with the treat of breakfast out. When I returned home after breakfast, I had my "quiet time" and then just kinda wandered around the house, feeling a bit like a lost puppy, looking for my family. Then I went outside and refilled all my bird feeders, hoping the fresh air would perk me up, but nothing seemed to help.

Sleep was what I really needed -- sweet, rejuvenating sleep! Thanks, Lord! Now that it's late afternoon (4:30), I'm ready to start my day! Hmmm...what shall I do first? Guess I'll just smile and sing some "songs of joy"!